It's not science fiction and it's not an April Fool's joke. Today at Mar-a-Lago, Donald Trump and Barack Obama held an unprecedented joint press conference. They revealed a secret the US government has kept for 40 years: humanity shares the planet with another intelligent species.
Contents:
Historic Meeting: 'Unity in the Face of the Unknown'
At 10:00 AM EST, Barack Obama arrived at Donald Trump's residence. The two political antagonists took the podium together.
What is 'Project Primate'? (1982-2026)
According to declassified CIA files, first contact occurred in 1982 when a spy satellite detected thermal anomalies in Antarctica. The 'Polar Star' expedition discovered an entrance to a giant cave system lit by bioluminescent fungi. There they met them — beings 2.5 meters tall, resembling gorillas, but walking upright and wearing synthetic clothing.
Homo Antarcticus: Who are they?
Dr. Elena Vance explains: "These are not aliens. This is a parallel branch of evolution. While we were developing iPhones, they were developing biotechnology and telepathy. Their average IQ is 180."
- Language: A combination of sign language and infrasound.
- Technology: Climate control, genetic engineering.
Global Reaction: Chaos
The S&P 500 index crashed 15% in an hour. The Vatican convened an emergency conclave. On social media, the #ApeAccord trend overtook every event of the decade. People are buying bananas (ironic, but true) and canned goods.
DNA Comparison
| Characteristic | Homo Sapiens (Humans) | Homo Antarcticus |
|---|---|---|
| Height (m) | 1.7 - 1.8 | 2.2 - 2.8 |
| Brain Volume (cm³) | 1350 | 1900 |
| Grip Strength (kg) | 40 | 600 |
🛑 What's Next?
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Is this war?
Trump and Obama assure that the contact is peaceful. The Primates reached out due to melting ice.
Do they look like us?
More like 'Planet of the Apes' characters, but with more noble facial features.
